i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
