it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize