you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
