Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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