Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
