he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
