Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
