you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
