Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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