My room smells like vodka and shame
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
