He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
