The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
