i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
