why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
