Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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