You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
