We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
