i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
