I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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