the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize