I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
zippers are such a cool invention
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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