I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
