your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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