Don't you send me to vm
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
