Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
His nipple licking is glorious
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