You really coming over, don't trick.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
