Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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