It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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