in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
