Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
