Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
