Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so let's talk penis.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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