Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
