why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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