Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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