We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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