I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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