it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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