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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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