Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you didnt know i had herpes?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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