You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
