found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
