Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
