He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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