U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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