guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
