Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
