I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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