Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
