i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Dick very happy bro
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
